Starting off

I intend to tell about life with my boys- all three of them.  I figure I should get it all down before they drive me crazy and I can't remember anything at all.  I have two sons so far, Matthew- 3 and Benjamin- almost 3 months.  They are the highlight of my life and I love them so much.

 There's also my husband Jason, who will turn 30 this year but will tell you up and down he's only 25.  It was so sad that when they came by for the census last year he had to come ask me how old he was because he was trying to tell the guy 26 or something.  I'll be 29 in a few short months and am not looking forward to it.  It seems like I can handle being 30, but 29 is like looking my youth in the face and I just can't handle that.  I said I wanted to be done having kids by 30 and that may happen but we haven't decided if we're going to try one more time for that elusive girl or not.  If we do, it'll be late this year or after because Jason will finally graduate school this year!

 After I don't know how many years he'll be done.  It seems like he's been going the whole time we've been married but I think it's only been the last 3 years.  He's going to graduate with a degree in Geography and a focus on GIS so that he can create maps.  I've seen some of his projects and it's actually pretty neat. 

We moved to the St Louis area about 2 years ago and while everything about the move hasn't been great, I have at least enjoyed the snow and being around some of my closest friends.  I do miss being around my family though.  I hate that I'm not getting to see my niece or my nephew on-the-way grow up.  I miss that my mom was always willing to take Matthew (and now Benjamin) and watch them so me and Jason could have some time to ourselves.  Our marriage was stronger back then.  I just wish I could go back and do some things over again.  I miss that we had to sell our house to get up here and that now it'll be years at the earliest before we can afford another and probably a few more years before our credit will be good enough. 

Sometimes, and I told Jason this yesterday, I wish I could fast forward about 20 years just to see how my kids turn out.  I pray I don't screw them up too badly.  I try to be a good mom, but what mom is good all the time?  My oldest is on Ritalin now for ADHD and the baby seems pretty mellow but who knows.  I have a hard time believing that in 3 months my oldest will be 4 and the baby will be 6 months already.  Time really does fly.